we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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