turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
