Soap is not a condiment
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize