He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
