dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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