My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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