On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
