Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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