yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
