i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
