My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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