I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
