I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
