just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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