i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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