oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
