Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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