Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize