According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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