Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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