oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
