I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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