This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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