She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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