Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize