i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
