how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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