Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
