I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
