i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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