i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
