Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
