WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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