break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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