okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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