Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
