At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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