i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
