is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
