he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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