do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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