the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
