you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
