Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize