That's intense
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We left the knife in your bed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
