I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
