Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
