I'm going to jail i love you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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