I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
