I don't think brook has ever known best
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
