Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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