**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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