got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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