I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize