I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
