no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're using joints as your birthday candles
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
