You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
