apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
