I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just had sex on a roof
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize